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It is insanely easy and common to get lost in motherhood. As a mom, you often find yourself sacrificing a lot. Time, careers, control, and more often than not, you tend to lose yourself in motherhood.
Days turn into weeks, weeks turn months, and months turn into years. Before you even realize what is happening, you no longer recognize the woman staring back at you.
Taking care of everyone else’s needs before the sun sets leaves you no time for yourself. Before you know it, years have passed but the cycle continues…
Do you want to end the cycle of being lost to the daily struggles of motherhood? Want to be a better mother, friend, wife, sister, and overall just a happier version of yourself?
Keep reading for 7 ways not to be lost in motherhood.
1. Find a Hobby
You are so busy finding passion projects, activities, and hobbies for the kids that you forget what you even like to do for fun. Finding something that you can do alone and for the fun of it, is important. They provide a healthy outlet/escape from everyday life.
Reading, playing video games, dirt biking, drawing, knitting/crocheting, blogging, dancing, crafting, or even DIY-ing home projects can all be considered hobbies. Hobbies make you more well-rounded, allow you to relax, and potentially develop new skills along the way.
Feeling like you are filling your time with something positive can boost your mood and even your confidence. So next time you are telling the kids to find a hobby, don’t forget to find one for yourself too.
2. Schedule some Self-care time for yourself (at least once a month)
It is no secret that moms tend to ignore anything about themselves. Listen here mama, you need to start caring about yourself. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. Anything that allows to melt away the lost in motherhood syndrome.
Self-care is important!
Schedule some alone time to recharge and reset. You can find pockets of time to spend alone or you can try and spend the children’s naptime alone. If you have the budget and flexibility, you can drive to the beach and be close to the ocean.
If your schedule is a little more rigid and money won’t allow you to venture far, you could always grab your favorite baked treats and brew a coffee. Enjoy the sounds of running water as you start a bubble bath for yourself.
Talk to a therapist if you need to. Listen to your favorite Gospel song and pray. Turn on YouTube and find a yoga instructor and meditate. Whatever it is that allows you to refocus, reset, and recharge; do it.
Everyone’s favorite cliche: you can’t pour from an empty cup. The reason it is a cliche is that it’s a true statement. Go refill your cup.
3. Have a career that you can call yours
It is often the mom who has to sacrifice careers or job-related goals to meet the demands of motherhood and to support the spouse. Her job becomes a teacher, nurse, chef, planner, comedian, coach, advisor, and so much more. Furthering the struggle of becoming lost in motherhood.
Own an online business (or work remotely)
You may not have been ready for such a shift especially if working your dream job and you have to stop. There is still hope. Luckily, it is becoming easier to make money online with your skills and passions.
If your dream job was graphic design, then the platform your job takes place might look different. Maybe you just want to contribute to the household or make Whole Foods money.
Start an Etsy or Shopify store. Become a virtual coach or assistant. Start a Youtube channel or blog. Trade stocks or develop an app. Whatever it is, get creative!
This video below has some cool ideas to get the ball rolling.
Open your own business
I know of a sweet mama of three young children who started an embroidery business at home and became successful. She then opened a shop featuring her embroidery in her hometown while being a stay-at-home mom.
I mention her story in the case, it gives you hope that you can also achieve your goals.
I follow another woman on Instagram who has now 5 couture restaurants in Las Vegas! She has couture donut locations and a pizza shop. If you have a dream or a creative solution to a problem, then get it out into the world.
Finding time to work
Maybe you don’t want to own your own business or even work remotely with the kids. That is fine too. For some, working outside the home gives them a social life, a break from the house, and in a way is therapeutic.
Talk to your spouse and communicate how important having a career or a job outside children is to you. Maybe you can’t afford to work 40 hours a week due to schedules or daycare costs but try 10-20 hours a week. Or even 10.
It gives you space and time to be someone other than mom and potentially help bring in an additional income.
[Related Post: How to Have a Productive Day as a Stay at Home Mom]
4. Listen to audiobooks and/or podcasts
Find a good mixture of entertainment, personal development, and education. I LOVE Mel Robbins. She is a no-nonsense, non-sugar coating manifestation, dream life mama. She has not only a YouTube channel but The Mel Robbins Podcast as well.
I fully recommend Kalyn’s Coffee Talk hosted by Kalyn Nicholson, she is super sweet and motivating.
Focus on the Family Broadcast hosted by Jim Daly & John Fuller, As for Me and my House hosted by couple, Jordan & Milena Ciciotti, and The Proverbs 31 Ministries hosted by Kaley Olson & Meredith Brock are really good Christian podcasts that motivate me to be the best version of myself.
For entertainment, I was recommended The Opportunist hosted by Hannah Smith. If stories about seemingly everyday people turned sinister is your thing, she has some interesting topics you’ll enjoy.
It is relaxing to escape to learn, laugh, or be in awe for an episode or two. The best part of it is with a podcast/audiobook, you can put in your headphones and don’t have to share.
All of the above-mentioned shows can be found on Apple Podcasts.
Have one Guilty Pleasure that is all yours
We all have that one snack that is junk but yet is so loved or even a show you just can’t stop watching. Jersey Shore, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and Black Ink Crew were some of my favorite trash reality tv shows.
Along with a hot cup of tea and a cheesecake and I was in hog heaven. I’d wait until the little one was asleep or down for a nap and veg out. Now, I lean toward watching home makeovers on Youtube and believe I can also do that in 30 minutes.
There’s something fun about having a show that is all yours and not Land Before Time for the 600th time.
5. Get Dressed
One of the biggest signs that you have begun to lose yourself in motherhood, is your wardrobe. Wearing decade-old, ill-fitting, worn-out clothes will not make anyone feel good about themselves.
Pair that with a dull and tired face and overgrown hair and you have what I call frumpy. Now, don’t worry or freak out. I’m 28 and already feel like I look frumpy. My clothes need an update, my makeup routine is nonexistent, and my hair has looked the same for over a year.
I suggest a budget-friendly makeover. Start small. Fill up a small makeup bag for a quick face. Find at least one outfit that complements your new, awesome figure. Finally, go for a new and fresh haircut that won’t require a lot of upkeep.
6. Wake up earlier (have a routine)
Having children can often dictate your schedule. One needs to go to soccer practice, one has a doctor’s appointment at 11:30, and the other is currently napping. Before you can blink, you’ve been thrown into the day and reacted all day long.
It is now midnight and with what little time you have left, you veg out with your phone on the couch.
Instead of that scenario of feeling drained, wake up 15-30 minutes earlier than everyone. If you’re feeling daring, try an hour or two before everyone else. Imagine, having dinner prepped, a few chores down, and a HOT coffee or tea sipped on by yourself.
The sun rises and the kids call you but you have already been up making breakfast for them. You greet them in a relaxed mood and you have a better mindset because you catered to yourself first.
7. Celebrate who you are now; finding joy in motherhood
You’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you will never return to the woman you were 5,10 years ago. It is okay to mourn her loss. However, she was a different version of you.
You have overcome challenges she could never dream of. Rediscover yourself as you are now and make small actionable steps towards your goals every day. Once you realize you were starting to become lost in motherhood, it will be so freeing to start embracing new daily habits.
Bonus Journal Prompts:
- What makes me happy?
- What would my dream day look like?
- What are some goals I would like to accomplish?
- Write a letter to your past self about what she can look forward to.
I hope you enjoyed 7 ways to not be lost in motherhood. I encourage you to give at least one of these tips a try today. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Recharge and refuel that nourishes your spirit.
Chase your dreams just as passionately as you did before children. Get up and get dressed. Find an activity that sparks creativity and fun. Love who you are now. You can love being a mother while loving yourself too.
