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Let’s get real for a second; I feel behind in life. We are plugged in more than ever on social media. Social media didn’t become a thing until I reached high school. I was a sophomore in high school when Apple released its first iPhone.
You might think, why do I care that you feel behind in life? Well, chances are the title grabbed your attention because it felt relatable. You said “Girl, same.”
This post is about why you might say “I feel behind in life.” and how to fix it.
Feeling Behind in Life
Let me give you a scenario: It’s a normal Monday morning. You wake up to a 5:30 alarm or maybe the kids woke you up. Maybe you never actually got to sleep because you were aimlessly scrolling social media.
You finally put your phone down after being glued to every highlight reel and luxury-style Instagram post. You rise from your bed feeling anxious, depressed, and anything but ready for the day.
On goes your 10-year-old sweatshirt and non-Lululemon leggings. You have a less-than-aesthetically pleasing home with all the mismatched furniture and appliances. You have to start getting ready for the day, the day you are no longer excited for.
Suddenly, you remember you are 8 months away from 30 and a flood of everything you accomplished hits you. You realize you haven’t accomplished much or at least that is how it feels. No degree or maybe you aren’t even using your college degree.
You don’t make enough money to do anything but pay bills. Yet, somehow every 20-something-year-old is traveling or their kids have all the coolest, new gear. And before you know it, you feel behind in life at 30.
Does any of that resonate? You might be asking yourself, “What did I do wrong in life?” or blaming your younger self for everything. That is the gist of my feelings and that’s the unfortunate side effect of social media.
Is it Normal to Feel Behind in Life?
I feel behind in life and I am learning that it’s a completely normal feeling. I am almost 30, have no definitive career, not making a ton of money, and just have an overall feeling of not feeling accomplished.
It would hurt the most when I would see people younger than me living the life I wanted. They’re living a successful life and I would feel like a total failure. I’ve tried dang near everything under the sun for career options.
It actually makes me cry with defeat remembering all my ideas that never came to fruition. I am the queen of schemes. I’ll share a list of my past ideas:
- Studying to become a truck driver
- Selling Mary Kay
- Selling and making Sugar Scrubs on Etsy
- Starting a makeup YouTube channel
- Studying to be a medical biller and coder
- Studying for the ASVAB to join the Air Force
- Studying Radiology
- Studying Accounting
- Wanting to become a dental assistant
- Almost paid thousands to learn Manual QA in the tech field
- Paid for multiple courses on how to make money or for career ideas that I hadn’t already tried (trying the non-college learning route)
And honestly, that’s just what I remember from the past 10 years. I essentially felt like I’d wasted my 20s. I felt like I was no closer to my “dream” life since graduating high school.
[Related Post You May Enjoy: 5 Reasons You Feel Disappointed in Yourself.]
So trust me, I understand exactly how you feel, and remember that what we are feeling is normal. It’s normal to look in the mirror and say “I feel behind my peers.” Because girl, same. I’m the only friend without a college degree and nothing more than retail work experience.
But you are NOT behind in life. Everyone (including me) is just on a different journey. That doesn’t make one journey right or wrong.
How Do I Stop Feeling Behind in Life?
Now that we have thoroughly depressed ourselves, I want to tell you there is hope! After years of feeling this way, I needed a change. I was tired of feeling down and I had to finally accept that I couldn’t fix the past.
Whatever “life plan” you and I made when we were graduating high school can either still happen or completely change. That is honestly the beauty of life. Life doesn’t stop or start at any magical age.
I realized I could only fix the present for a better future. The tricks that finally helped me were prayer and gratitude, mind shift change, and action. It was like a whole new world opened to me.
Practicing Prayer & Gratitude
I needed to start with a clear mind and prayer helped me with that. You can pray, meditate, or talk to a licensed therapist. Now, you have to recognize that you have accomplished something, anything! Even something as simple as getting through the day despite feeling like a “loser”.
I recognized that I had accomplished some major life goals of mine:
- I got married (Never thought I would)
- I had two children (They are perfect)
- I purchased my brand new “mom” car
- My husband and I own our own home (A place to raise my family)
- We afforded me to become a SAHM (I can watch them grow up)
I had to remind myself of the current blessings I already had. The goals I had prayed for, happened and I had forgotten that. But even if they didn’t happen, I learned to be grateful for the day.
The Mind-Shift Change
After practicing gratitude, I naturally began to have a mind shift change. I accomplished a lot but had to ignore societal timeline pressures.
Society says to graduate from a 4-year university, have a successful high-earning career, and start a family all before 30. So when that doesn’t happen like that for you, life feels behind or like you’re too old to start over.
We all forget that our peers are all on a different life path than ourselves. Once you realize that your life is unique and all yours to make, that’s when the real magic happens.
Take Action
One of my favorite phrases is action without prayer is dead. You can have the clearest mind and be eternally grateful but that won’t create your dream life alone. You have to take action towards your future.
Visualize your dream life and write it down. Ask yourself:
- What do I want to be doing?
- What does a normal day look like for me?
- What would make me happy?
- What does my personal, financial, love, and career life look like?
- What is my 5-year plan?
After answering these questions, create an action plan for the years, the months, the weeks, and the days. And get to work today.
Once I did this, the feeling behind in life started to fade. Now, it still comes and goes but remembering my 5-year goal helps me feel at peace. Time will pass no matter how much we don’t want it to so you might as well take steps to your dream life.
This post was all about why you might tell yourself; I feel behind in life. With the power of prayer and gratitude, a mind-shift change, and taking action steps you can stop feeling behind your peers. Remember that we are all on different life paths and your path is unique and special.
